Clemson Vs. Univ. of South Florida (again)

This was a couple of weeks ago, but still funny.

I had a great interaction with my friend who is a Univ. of South Florida alumni (kind of). Anyway, he at least attended a few classes there. USF will be hence forth mentioned as USelessF

USelessF friend: Did you know Spiller had his best game as a pro last week, but still fumbled?

Me: I watched him play yesterday. He is not bad if you give him holes. He will get cut from the Bills after next season and get picked up by a team with a good offense. They will use him as just a slot receiver and he will look good.

Useless F friend: He is a bust of monumental proportions.

Me: Why does Spiller’s failures make you so happy?

Useless F friend: Cause he went to Clemson and he sucks and he was drafted 9th overall

Me: Anytime you mention Clemson you need to refer to them as ACC Champion Clemson. I’m quite certain they’ve earned it. (editor’s note: Reference to Jack Nicholson’s great scene in A Few Good Men)

Useless F friend: Don’t they just hand that out to a new awful team each year: Wake, BC, Ga Tech, Marland.

Me: Yes. They do. Just like the Big Least. When is USF’s turn….2018? What a joke of a program. More talent within 150 miles of campus than any other school outside of Miami.

Useless F friend: You lost to that joke of a program less than a year ago (editor’s note: A point I had truly failed to remember. Suppression of a bad memory.) We have only had football since 1997.

Me: That was a blip on the radar. Don’t give me that ’97 crap. UConn started football in like ’01 and they are in CT and they have won the Big Least.

Useless F friend: Clemson was a blip on USFs radar and nothing more. UConn has had football since 1896…Leo (editor’s note: reference to my father’s propensity to make up statistics. I was in fact nearly right since they didn’t enter I-A football until 2000, which is when you actually noticed they had a program.)

Me: Well, they were I-AA till recently. Quit making excuses for your program. That is how mediocrity starts.

Useless F friend: Since ’97 we have won more games, been ranked higher and beat Clemson head to head. We’ve also had 578 less chokes.

Me: Are you counting all those marvelous I-AA wins. You can’t make me angry, because I can hardly hear you over the clanging of championship rings.

Useless F friend: ACC champs and no one can take that away from you except the NCAA when they investigate how a Choke school got Sammy Watkins

Me: Haha, that is exactly what someone else said. Nothing will take it away. If they take it from us I will claim the ’09 championship vacated by Georgia Tech.
Editor’s note : Clemson has more wins since Useless F joined the I-A ranks: 95 to 88. Not by much though for a program that is pretty new. They do play in a joke league with only 8 teams and play one tough out of conference and then four cupcakes. Clemson usually plays 8 conference games and S. Car and one other tough game leaving only two cupcakes. Useless F has been ranked higher, 2 versus 3 and does have a lot less chokes. They do have one less championship as well.